The ‘Blog Abbreviated To SIAW has written nice things about me recently, but I would have enthused about its accurate summary of the BBC’s celebrity-based current affairs presenting anyway: “[Kirsty] Wark, in her usual not exactly self-effacing way, frequently interrupted both to summarise their remarks, put words in their mouths and generally make sure that […]
Read MoreLive from next month, more of “Pooter’s Futures“: The Middle East The body of one of the militants believed to have been responsible for the bombing of the Hilton hotel in Taba on Egypt’s border with Israel has been washed up on a bank of the river Nile near the Egyptian town of Aswan. When […]
Read MoreIt’s time for the Razzies to start presenting an “Orson Welles Award” for film careers that have had the steepest fall from an early peak. [Michael Brooke will be round here in a minute to tell me off for caricaturing Mr Sherry.] Apart from giving film bores a truly interesting challenge (choosing Madonna for Worst […]
Read MoreIt’s Friday! I invite haiku on the subject of Britney Spears—or is it “Britney Federline“?
Read MoreChristopher Reeve is dead. The obituary on Radio 4 is already taking the “de mortuis nil nisi bonum” approach a bit too far by claiming that Reeve “avoided typecasting”. I, for one, remember his Henry V with profound admiration. Good lad, though, as Will Rubbish would say.
Read MoreBob Geldof defends Blair and Brown against accusations that their campaign of assistance for the developing world is just an election stunt. It’s understandable that a populist stance like theirs should inspire cynicism. Everyone knows there are too many easy votes in helping out the fuzzy-wuzzies in Africa.
Read MoreA poster going by the name of “YellowFeather” over at The Motley Fool has a theory why David Beckham thought it was okay to have the last “word” in his on-the-pitch feud with Thatcher [that’s the footballer, not the former UK Prime Minister or any of her relatives] during the England vs Wales World Cup […]
Read MoreIt was for real. Britney is indeed married. I loved this quote from the songstress: “I believe you can marry in your heart and that means much more than a piece of paper. You can write anything down on paper, but the real truth is love. We know we have that. I’m really upset that […]
Read MoreI ache to do a Boris Johnson parody, but it is impossible. There is no second-form-at-Greyfriars phrase I could write, no bonkers opinion I could put forward that wouldn’t leave people thinking “that’s probably just a quote from the man himself”. I bet even Craig Brown thumps his head against his writing desk in torment […]
Read MoreOh, Britney! Even The Sun is horrified. Are these pictures of your wedding genuine? Scroll down for the worst of it. [Thanks to Leasey.]
Read MoreI’ve just added the fierce and furry Hak Mao to the ‘Blogroll. (And, if you don’t write something soon, Timbeaux, I’ll be de-rolling you. How can I read a ‘Blog that isn’t?) Hak comes from the land of my favourite bread: Vogel’s. It’s the anti-Nimble. The ingredients of Vogel’s are harvested from the hearts of […]
Read MoreThe Susurrator nibbles at the shoelaces of titans as he vainly attempts to reduce us, the shining stars of the UK ‘Blogosphere to one-liners. Do you know who I am, child?! And apart from having shaved heads, Irish forenames, and the finely-sculpted bodies of gay icons, where is the resemblance between me and this person? […]
Read MoreAs of 23:46 BST, the content aggregator Google News is displaying these words on its front page: “Paris Hilton’s Lost Chihuahua Turns Up—ABC News and 254 other[ news outlets are reporting this story]“ This kind of item is being planted by cave-dwelling misogynists in comedy beards in an effort to turn us to the stoning […]
Read MoreYou are the Santa Barbara District Attorney. One morning you wake up and find that you are to spend your day in the dock in front of Michael Jackson and most of the rest of the Jacksons, all of them dressed in white, while Jacko’s lawyer cross-examines you. When life gets this strange, you can […]
Read MoreUS media cookery superstar Julia Child died on Friday, aged 91. British media cookery superstar Nigella Lawson is still, to the best of my knowledge, in fine health, however.
Read MoreDame Edna Everage has a running joke about her having installed her mother in a “maximum-security rest home”. From its external aspect, the second Google hit for the phrase “rest home” could be such a place.
Read MoreAs an “adorable half-caste African”, I have been far too slow to ‘Blog this one. The Guardian dents what could have been a funny, understated report by resorting to this clumsy smear: “[Princess Michael] was born Marie-Christine von Reibnitz, daughter of an Austrian father with connections to the Nazi party.”
Read MoreLooking at the photo that illustrates this article, you have to wonder just how many M&Ms were made available for her backstage during Madonna’s last tour.
Read MoreMy recent trifling Hallé Berry item has attracted seven comments so far. Particular attention has been paid to Ms Berry’s “nice rack”. Although it is not completely visible in this picture, Nigella Lawson also has a nice rack. I look forward to its becoming available for purchase.
Read MoreHow’s this for ‘Blogger solipsism? Two people whose work I admire have died this week. Henri Cartier-Bresson is the second. Check out the retrospective at Magnum. (While I’m on the subject, have a look at this very un-H C-B Photo of the Week at photo.net). The way things are going, Aretha Franklin had better remember […]
Read MoreWhat’s more annoying: the one-sentence-per-paragraph formatting of this story or its poor-me, whining celebrity content? Beauty is a curse: Halle Berry Halle Berry. She was the first African-American to represent America at the Miss World pageant. She has won enough beauty titles to last a lifetime. And she has an Oscar (Monster’s Ball) to her […]
Read MoreIt is a fitting memorial to the spirit of that time.
Read MoreThe Internet Movie Database's Fresh Faces is a showcase for less well-known actors and a monument to American dentistry. You can play casting director and flip through the talent ruthlessly, ticking or crossing the potential of the hopefuls on the basis of their (no-doubt Photoshopped) publicity photos alone. Whether you are male or female; straight, […]
Read MoreToday, 21Jul04, is the national day of Belgium.
Read MoreThis reminds me of those long-gone days when Michael Jackson was blacker than me and his fans were madder than both of us. Jackson wrote the song Billie Jean about a stalker of his who clambered over a wall, chased him round his swimming pool, and claimed that she was carrying twins—only one of which […]
Read MoreI don't know if it's because half of my best friends are Jewish, but every single time I see the cover of Bill Clinton's autobiography I imagine him shrugging his shoulders and delivering the title in a north London accent. For example: “My life! The girl has this einredenish that I loved her! And that […]
Read MoreThis one is mainly aimed at my American posse. Shouts out to you all, brothers and sisters. This piece in The Telegraph [probably requires free registration] begins as typical Sunday supplement filler, with some random musings on the significance of Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart's choosing to taking a “vacation” in the English countryside. Later, […]
Read MoreHi. Tony here. My friend and colleague Damian has kindly let me onto his Interblog to say a few words to you, our allies and friends in America, on this special day. [Blokey twist of head. Adjusts tie. About-to-tell-joke half-smile.] Y'know, it seems only yesterday that I was practising the chords of Steppenwolf's “Born To […]
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